No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-07-16 - 2:21 p.m.

no use steering

welcome to my nightmare. jump in. the water's warm.

i'm so frigging lagging today. i made a terrible decision last night. 11:30, about to go to bed, but feeling a bit antsy. i thought i'd read for a while. i picked up the green mile. never start a stephen king book late at night. around 2 am i finally put it down and turned out the light.

i'm slugging back pepsis at a record pace today. my stomach is starting to complain and i've got that terminal bad taste in my mouth. yet, i can't stop. i'm so frigging tired.

no updates this weekend. my computer at home has gone completely bitchcakes on me. every five minutes it complains about something called the help center. i can't figure out what that is, or why it's screwing up my computer.

let me just say that i hate windows.

a lot.

i'm going camping this upcoming weekend, and i have stuff planned for every night this week. i want to call in sick some day just so i can get a few hours to myself.

i wish i had an extra hour each day more than everybody else gets. if i had twenty-five hours in my day, but everyone else only had twenty-four. that'd be awesome.

no enthusiasm for work today. none. not even ani is getting me cranked up today.

ever wonder how your life got to where it is? ever try to look back and think about the twists and turns, about with forks you could have taken differently to end up somewhere better, happier, thinner, married, rich, whatever?

me too.

well, no use steering now.

i guess i'll just buckle up and hang on.

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