No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-08-14 - 1:37 p.m.

dream? chalk? cookies?

i was just walking down the hall, feeling tired and groggy and not happy to be here. i had this mild sense of surreality, of things being not quite real.

and it occurred to me "what if this is a dream?"

just imagine for a moment that everything that's happened since the first of the year is actually just a dream. that i haven't been living all this. that i'm going to wake up any second and discover that this job and this spot i'm in in my so-called life are not real.

would i be happy or sad to be back where i was, to have the last eight months wiped off the slate and the chalk put back in my hand?

if i would be happy, then maybe i better start being more careful with that chalk.

or maybe i should start being less careful. maybe i need to use broader, more daring strokes.

maybe i should just clean the erasers and go home for milk and cookies.

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