No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-08-17 - 1:19 p.m.



i'm in hiding today.

i'm being quiet and hoping nobody will notice me.

this bad monkey doesn't want to work, but he brought his own banana from home. that'll show 'em.

i realized this morning that i've been walking around with a ball of fear in my gut for days now. you know that slightly hollow, achey feeling you get in your stomach when you're dreading something? i have that a lot right now.

do you know what i dread?

getting up in the morning.

when i go and hang with my friends, everything is okay. i feel loved in their presence. because i am.

work makes me feel unworthy. not incapable, unworthy. because i don't care about work. and they pay me too much money for me to not care.

i'm in hiding today.

from myself or from others is a question that's still up for grabs.

Hosted by my beloved DLand
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