2001-08-20 - 11:52 a.m.

rust

i feel like my current emotional/mental state is a layer of rust. the shiney metal underneath keeps getting coated with this nasty patina of bitterness and depression. every so often, most especially when i'm out with my friends or with my sisters, they take a sandblaster to that layer of crap, and who i hope i really am shines through for a bit. then i go back to work, or spend the night staring at the ceiling praying for sleep, or most likely, do the one after the other, and it's like getting dipped in a bath of hydrochloric acid and being set out in the rain. rusted over in no time.