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No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2003-01-24 - 12:24 p.m.

Appreciating my women friends

It occurred to me last night that I currently have more women friends than I've had since college. And I like it. It's pretty fucking cool.

Last night the Fearsome Foursome (eRoommate, Stimpy, Dorothy, and I) went out to see a show, and then went to a bar for a bit. It was a great night. And I saw tons of people I haven't seen for a bit, and they all had to run over and exclaim about my lack of hair.

And I ended up talking for a good long while to someone who I've always known peripherally, and she never seemed to want to give me the time of day before, and now she was really chatty, but she's about to move to LA, and I think she was freaking out, and seeking validation.

And then, I talked to BoBoGirl for a while, and talked a little about ShyGirl, and I asked how ShyGirl is doing with FuckFace, and a big part of me wanted to hear that they're not doing well, but they are, and ShyGirl is happy, and I told the bitter vindictive part of myself to pound sand, and was happy for her happiness. And I am. I am happy for her.

And then we went to the bar and I drank. A lot. And despite all the people around who I haven't seen for a while, I was just drinking with the usual suspects, and eventually I tried to go mingle with other folks, but I picked a bad time, cause they were in the midst of serious conversation, so BoBoGirl dragged me away to the other side of the bar, and we talked about acting and writing, and it absolutely amazes me that someone as gorgeous and smart and talented as her has so much trouble getting parts and such.

And let me just say that I love her to death. She's the greatest. She's one of those people where to know her is to love her, and all my friends can't get past how she looks, and while I'm not blind to that, it's no longer the most attractive thing about her. She's got a good soul, and sometimes I can almost see it, like a fuzzy white light behind her. People who are genuine, and that good-hearted are so rare, that I cherish my friendship with her more than I can say.

So this morning I'm trying to appreciate the women in my life. I'm reminding myself that yes, I don't have one woman who is the end-all be-all, but there are women in my life who I love, and who love me in return. "There art thou happy".

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