No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2003-02-07 - 7:46 p.m.

Dignity Retained

I'd like to think I learned a valuable lesson today:

Dignity cannot be taken from you, but you can give it away. If you choose to.

I was very much afraid that my promotional gig would equate to me selling my dignity. It didn't turn out that way.

First of all, because I ignored all the corporate shill crap they wanted me to spew. ("Why, oh why, didn't I invent this amazing product. I'm a terrible chef and a disgrace to my family." Or something to that effect.)

Instead I simply stood around being myself. I asked people if they wanted a chance to win up to $1,000. Most of them did. The ones that didn't were almost all very nice. Sometimes you could see them shaking their heads even as I approached, so I just cut myself off and backed off.

I didn't follow the script for describing the product. I used my own words. When people asked me if I'd tried it, I honestly told them I hadn't.

All of these things could get me in big trouble with a secret shopper. But I decided "fuck them". I'll do the job in a way that doesn't make me feel like a complete idiot (because the chef hat is getting close enough anyway), and if they don't like it, they can fire me.

So besides sore feet and back, I actually came through today feeling much better than I would have expected. Which is not to say that six more days of this over the next three weeks are going to be a laugh riot.

But I know I can get through it with my dignity intact.

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