No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-10-20 - 2:46 p.m.

Goin' with the flow, baby

Today I am all about Tao. Or at least I'm trying to be.

The party last night was very nice. It was a small crowd of mostly women and everyone was very friendly. I was able to let HeroMan jump in and make the first splash and then kind of coat-tail into conversations. Very nice people and some good conversations. I mean, real conversations, not just party chit-chat.

SpunkyGirl has good friends.

There was no pre-party briefing from Ng.

SpunkyGirl was the hostess (with the mostest) and had very little time for me to try chatting her up. There were plenty of comments made in passing, but no real convo.

Late in the evening, I was able to talk to her for a bit, to have her undivided attention. It lasted about two or three minutes. Thirty seconds of which I was not being a blithering idiot.

Oh, and let me tell you, I can blither with the best of them.

SmogMonkey snagged the wheel early and wouldn't let go, and everything I said sounded idiotic to me.

And the eyes? Yep. I'd forgotten how amazing her eyes are. Is it just me? Am I weird? Is this a typical thing for a guy to fixate on? I don't know. But, Phew! those eyes.

I'm trying hard to remember what my pen pal told me about the fact that I get flustered being endearing. I want very badly to believe that.

So I was a bit frustrated last night. Cause I didn't get a chance to chat her up. And I didn't ask her out. And I have no inkling of a clue if she likes me.

But, as I said, today I am all about Tao.

Good or bad, right or wrong, endearing or idiotic, last night I was myself. And if she is the right kind of person for me, then it'll work out in the end.

Find the flow. Feel the flow. And ferchrissake.


With the flow.

That's not just some of it.

That's all of it.

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