No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2002-11-11 - 11:47 p.m.

Non-sour grapes, and hemming and hawing

I was right. Doing the right thing sucked ass.

I was more anti-social than I've ever been. I sat in one spot for four hours, looking at my script, and rarely made eye contact with anyone. I spoke little, and only when necessary. It was the only way I could keep myself under control. Every thirty seconds I wanted to just flip off the director and leave.

I wish I'd never gotten involved with this show.

The dude who replaced me better have a damn good singing voice, because I've flushed better actors. If you think that's just sour grapes, then you're welcome to continue being wrong. The truth is that most of the lead roles are filled by wooden robots with good singing voices.

The script is stilted and stupid and derivative and only the music will save this show.

Not that I think it should be saved.

I just want it over with and done.


I talked to ShyGirl on the phone tonight for an hour and a half. It was a nice distraction from the travesty that was tonight's game. In the last half hour I managed to relax a bit and be more myself, which is good.

We're going out for sushi on Thursday.

The "other man" that was the trigger for her break up was some dude she met recently, and kissed, and has been talking to a lot. I'm not sure how to take it.

I was fairly convinced that I would just bow out. It's looking like a potentially volatile situation, and to my mind she shouldn't be dating anyone seriously just yet. Basically, I was thinking I'd sit on the sidelines and let OtherMan be her rebound.

Part of this could just be the chickenshit in me talking.

I need to just go out with her as friends and look for some vibe. Cause I still don't know her all that well. And she's cute as hell, but I need to know her better before I know if there's any real vibe.

I'm hemming and hawing. It's just something I do.

Don't take it too seriously.

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