No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-11-13 - 12:26 p.m.

unemployed and feeling okay about it

Last night I wrote about ten pages worth of resignation letters. I wrote excuses, recriminations, accusations, apologies, bile, bitterness, and outright lies.

Then I threw it all away. Here's what I submitted.

To Whom it May Concern:
Effective immediately, I am resigning my position with Exactimundo Software.

Short and to the point. I figure saying anything that was not absolutely necessary would only open the door to possible trouble, miscommunications, whatever. I just thought it would be in my best interest to be as quiet as I could, and just get it over with.

I went in this morning, delivered my resignation letter, chatted for a minute with RadioVoiceBossMan, who managed to put me at ease, and continued to be civil, but had to fall back on his "allergies are a bummer, huh?" small talk because he really had nothing else to say.

I did a surgical strike on my office, and was able to cram all my personal belongings into my briefcase (I guess I never really set up shop, did I?). TalksTooLoudGuy wandered in and said something stupid, but nobody knew that I was leaving, so I didn't have to listen to him try to commiserate. I didn't talk to anyone else. I didn't send a goodbye email.

I just exited quietly. Stage left.

I'll let them say what they want about my departure, and draw their own conclusions.

Thirty minutes, all told. In. And Out.

And actually, I feel pretty good today. It's closure. It's for the best.

I still haven't told Mom and Dad, though they might know by now if they've talked to the sisters.

And can I just say that my sisters rock? They are by far the coolest people I know. And I love the hell out of them. I talked to them both last night, and they're just the greatest human beings on the planet. Bar none.

So today I'm not even going to think about jobs at all. I'm going to Moveable Feast tonight, then a late soccer game.

Tomorrow I'll sleep late, then sleep some more. There are some calls to make, and shit to take care of. I'm not going to even look at my resume until next week.

I'm thinking I might do a little volunteer work during this stretch. I'll need reasons to get out of the house. I don't want to pine away in here all winter. Bad for the soul.

Hey, you know what just occurred to me? I can go skiing in the middle of the week now. I can't do a hell of a lot of it, because it's expensive as hell, but I can just take off in the middle of the week and go skiing. How bout them apples?

Yeah. I'll be okay. I'll be alright. I'll be just fine.

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