No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-10-03 - 10:34 a.m.

No Great Revelation

My pen pal said some time ago that Andrew should do a survey and find out how many people found D-Land through CubicleGirl. I know at least I did. And I love her stuff. And I read it every day.

But today it's PartyGirl who had knocked me on my ass. Let me just say that PG has become the heart and soul of *my* own little D-Land experience.

Read her entries from last night and today. Go. Go read now.

Cause that's not just some of it.

That's all of it.

And I'm feeling kind of ashamed right now. At how quickly my life has gotten back to normal. And sure not a day goes by that I don't think about WTC. And sure I'm still glued to the news every night.

But my life is pretty close to normal. I eat well, I sleep well, I bitch about being lonely, and the job. I hang out with friends. It's all good.

Except it's not all good.

And I don't really have the right, it seems, to go on as if it were all good.

And I'm painfully aware that this entry, hell this whole journal, rarely if ever has any great revelations. There are no "A-Ha" moments. There are no change your life or at least your mind kind of things going on here.

It's just me.

Being me.

And I love the fact that I have a normal life. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for all that I have. Every night before I go to bed, I thank a God that I don't believe in for my family, and my friends and my life. And all the good things that I have.

And I'm losing my point, and there is, again, no great revelation. But I guess that I'm just being aware of how lucky I am.

And giving a shout out to New York Fucking City's very own superhuman Rock Stah.

Here's to you PG.

And here's to getting back to good.

For *all* of us.

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