No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2003-04-27 - 12:35 p.m.

The show, a rant about getting off the bus, a party, and Mr. Bitterness

Crap, I'm a slacker. Not just a slacker, but a slacker-ass slacker. I've been around, but I just haven't been writing. Sue me.


The new show opened on Thursday. It went pretty well, all things considered. We really kind of stepped up with a live audience, and did better than in any of our rehearsals. I was pretty down on my performance in the second act, but it's just a very high-stress role for me, so I'm hyper-critical. All the responses I got from people in the audience were good. So the great thing, at least, is that we got through a performance, and now we know we can do it. From here on out it should be just fun.

So on Wednesday, during our final rehearsal, Stony McPotHeadPants pretty much gave up on even trying to contribute. He's always been very hard on himself, but his attitude deteriorated to the point of annoying, and then pissing me off in the past month. On Wednesday he was on stage for like thirty seconds in the first act, and sat out the second act.

On Thursday, he decided that he wasn't going to perform with us. He showed up to watch, but gave Herr Director some line about being too sick to perform. It was bullshit, and we all knew it. He was afraid we were going to suck, so he bailed on us. Not that I care too much at this point.

My attitude is if you don't wanna be on the bus, get off the bus. If you stay on the bus, you better sit your ass down and sing Kum-by-ya with the rest of us. But don't stay on the bus with a bad attitude and drag us down. And if you get off the bus, don't expect us to ask you to get back on. Frankly, I used to feel sympathy for his concerns. By this point, however, I no longer have the energy to deal with his bullshit.

Of course, after he watched the show, and we rocked, he suddenly was all sorry he didn't perform. Yeah well, you can't reap the rewards without taking the risks, buddy.

So after the show we go to the bar, and McPotHeadPants, in a blatantly desperate bid for attention, brings his puppy into the bar. Okay, one, I'm not too hip on his leaving the dog in his car throughout the show. Two, puppies do not belong in bars. Three, shut the hell up, you desperate, pathetic loser. If you don't have anything interesting to say, and people are annoyed by your bullshit, do you think a puppy is going to make you popular and cool? No, it's going to make us think about calling the ASPCA, because you are obviously not capable of caring for a pet. Seriously, he kept the puppy in the bar for over an hour. It was like the elephant on the table. Everyone was trying to ignore this freak show, but couldn't. He really went a long way towards ruining the whole evening.


Okay, I guess I needed to rant a little, huh?

So Friday night was another night out at the theater, just watching the shows. I'm going to take over on running lights part of the time next weekend, so I tried to pay attention to the cues. Then we went back to the bar and despite all my intentions of being good and going home early, I ended up smoking cigarettes and staying until the bar closed.

Yesterday was a long day. I got up for Tai Chi, even though all I wanted to do was sleep. Then from there straight to seeing a play with Mom. "Two Pianos, Four Hands". Great show. Really funny and interesting and well-written. Plus, the two actors are classically trained pianists, so there's great music in the midst of it all.

Then I went to Ty and jo3's bday party. Unfortunately, jo3 didn't stay long. But he had the whole two-month old baby to look after thing going. I did get to see jo3's son (hereinafter jo4) who was an adorable little cuss.

I also caught up with a couple of folks who I only see at this party. It's kinda funny. We always chat, and it's like, "so, what's been up for the past year?". One of them, LittleJules, underwent a remarkable transformation in the past year. She was always one of those dark, unhappy goth-type women. She's great fun always, but she used to have this edge to her that was at the same time exciting and scary. Now, she's happy. She's settled down, has a good job, is in love. She's in so much better a place, and it was really great to see. I love being surprised by folks in that way. I like to see things work out for the better.


Anyway, that's about it for the moment. I still have some stories to tell, and I'll try to get to that soon.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Apparently eRoommate ran into ShyGirl, and she asked how I'm doing. Apparently she's forgotten how to use a telephone, or I might actually be able to tell her how I'm doing.

But I'm not bitter.


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