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No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2003-05-20 - 9:57 a.m.

Blah, blah, blah, pitching script

So it looks like the whole roommate catastrophe has been averted for the moment, which makes me happy.

Things continue to go well with ShyGirl. We each have our panic attacks. We each have our self-doubt. But when we're together, we're happy, and comfortable. It's good.

I took a fighting for film class over the weekend that was awesome. Our instructor is an inductee into the Stunt man Hall of Fame, so...uh...I guess he knew his stuff. He was a great teacher, just totally no nonsense. It rekindled my passion for stage combat with a vengeance. Though I was sore as hell on Sunday. I got a little too enthusiastic, I think.

Last night was band practice, and it went pretty well. Our rhythm section is still not very self-confident, and they always want to practice stuff on their own before trying it with the group. Which is okay, I guess, but I miss the spontaneity I've had with other musicians. I love just trying things, and fucking up, and stuff. Also, it seemed apparent last night that I suck at following the tempo set by a drummer (or at least by a relatively tentative drummer) and everyone seems to be following me. I guess I'm okay with that, but I never intended to be like the band leader. It may not turn out that way, but it feels like it right now.

I had a good talk with Heavy G last night. We didn't bring up his apparent anger at my BDay party, but we got back to that good place in our friendship. Whatever there was between us has been back burnered. If it's important enough that we can't just get over it, it'll make it's way back to the forefront and we'll deal with it. It's just kind of a feature of my friendship with some people (mostly guys) that sometimes you don't talk about issues. You just let them slide. Usually it works out okay. Sometimes it explodes. But that's just the way it works. It's not like my relationship with ShyGirl, where we talk about just about everything. It just is what it is.

So I talked with Heavy G about an idea I have for a short film, and we talked in length about how hard would it be, and how many locations would I need, and specific camera shots. I got all excited about the idea again, and started thinking crazy things like "I could probably produce and direct this thing myself."

Then I had a dream last night about pitching my script (different script, actually) to people here in town. The dream was like a who's who of acting people I've met, and the specificity of the details was amazing. It was one of those dreams that feels like it goes on and on. Almost like watching a movie.

Anyway, I've got some work I must get through today. Have a happy Tuesday.

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