j-money.diaryland.com
No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2002-11-14 - 5:18 p.m.

This is me before a date.

This is me fifteen minutes before I go to have sushi with ShyGirl. (Leaving an hour to get there, so that I won't be late, despite traffic.)

This is me scared shitless.

This was me on the phone with her earlier today. Wishy-washy. Unable to make a decision of any kind. Afraid to say the wrong thing, therefore saying something worse.

This is me more nervous than I've been in a while and kind of wondering why.

This is me thinking that maybe there's more vibe than I thought.

This is me thinking maybe there's not that much vibe and I'm just chickenshit.

This is me wishing I weighed about five to ten pounds less right now.

This is me trying to remind myself of all the reasons why I'm likable. All the reasons that I'm a good guy. All the reasons that any woman should consider herself lucky to go out with me.

This is me trying to forget all the women who don't want to go out with me.

This is me thinking I'll go play guitar for a minute, because that always makes me feel better about myself.

This is me.

This is me scared shitless.

This is me before a date.

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