No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-07-02 - 1:25 a.m.

alone in bad company

quote from an amiee mann song: "seems like a waste of gunpowder and sky".

tonight i was sitting at home reading and suddenly there was all this booming outside. i thought at first that it was just a huge clap of thunder, but it kept going and going. pretty quickly i realized that it was a fireworks display just down the street. i thought it wasn't going to be until wednesday night.

anyway, i wandered outside with no shoes on, to watch. at first i just went around the corner of my building, but there was another building in the way, so i ended up going out the front gate. all around the front gate and across the street by the path, were tons of people. all camped out with lawn chairs and the like.

i stood there watching, waiting and waiting for the finale. for me fireworks displays are boring until the finale.

it was a good finale.

i love the sensory overload of a fireworks finale. the way that the blossoms of light overlap one another and each one can barely register on your consciousness before there are five more. it reminded me tonight of boiling water. like bubbles of light bursting through the surface of the night.

when i came out there was a very attractive young woman sitting by herself on the curb. while i watched the fireworks, i also watched some guy make the moves on her. he introduced himself and struck up a conversation. seemed to be doing well, too.

i wondered why i can't do that kind of thing, as i walked back into my apartment.

another quote for ya. it's from ambrose bierce (great writer, though the only story of his most people know is occurrence at owl creek bridge) and is actually the title of a biography about him.

"alone in bad company."

it's really late and i should be asleep, but i can't sleep. tomorrow is going to be hell.

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