No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-08-09 - 12:21 p.m.

d-land start-struck

big d-land day for me today.

first, i discovered a great way to feed your inner hit slut (cause like NetDiva says "it's all about validation") is to join a diary ring. especially one founded by d-land's very own bombshell.

for you to understand point two, i have to use an analogy and a couple of anecdotes.

once, years ago, i went to a taping of e-Town and saw Lisa Loeb play. this was neither the first nor the last time i've seen her in concert, but this was in the Boulder Theater, which is a very small venue. and she came out to the edge of the stage afterwards. and i went up and got her autograph.

and i was, at that moment, the *biggest* goober in the world.

because i love Lisa Loeb. i mean, really, really love Lisa Loeb.

now, normally i don't go in for cults of personality. i don't assume that the great work an artist does in a particular field necessarily means that they're a good person, or i would like their personality, or what have you. they're just a person right?

yeah well, when i got within spitting distance of Lisa Loeb (though spitting was the furthest thing from my mind), my brain shut off completely. i was in the biggest case of star-struck i'd ever seen.

i wasn't struck dumb, though. i said something to her. i only got it out because i'd been rehearsing it in my mind for half an hour.

i said "i want to thank you for making the music you do, because it's meant a lot to me, and helped me through some tough times."

she said "thank you, that's very nice."

then she signed my cd cover (firecracker -- with "to j$" written over the curve of her hip -- i could die) and then the rest of the night is a blur.

okay, that story got longer than it should have been, but i think we've established that every so often i get star-struck.

now on to the second part of the story. there is a folk singer-songwriter from new york named Sam Shaber and she rocks my world. i discovered her at a performance at Penny Lane in Boulder. i was there because a friend of a friend of a friend was trying to set me up with another friend. (turns out this same distantly-removed friend is also a friend of Sam's). i have no idea what the potential set-up even looked like, because once Sam started playing, the rest of the world disappeared.

i have to say that Sam is my favorite musician of all time. i don't have that same stupid, star-struck thing with regards to her, but i love her music beyond all accounting. i also have to say, that i have met her and talked to her three times now. i have no idea what i said. i know i was a goober, and somewhat star-struck, but not in the same way as with Lisa.

i'm venturing too far down my musical tangent here. the point is that i have great respect and admiration for these two women. one of them is pretty famous, and the other is well-known in a small circle (though she deserves to be world-famous). but one important distinction is that i can identify with Sam. i can understand her world, and her songs are very personal, and her in-show banter sometimes more so. and the thing is that sometimes i almost feel like i know Sam. i relate to her.

now, one more story (man, everyone who is new to this page is just gonna bail on me right now). i discovered d-land through CubeGirl. i was googling for "do it yourself sound proofing" and found one of her entries. i immediately read like all the entries. only after a hearty dose of CubeGirl did i venture out into the wilds of d-land and find some other great diaries.

i was on d-land and writing every day for a while before anyone happened upon my little corner of internet angst. and when a few hits started coming, it was important to me. and when my very first True Blue d-land Buddy showed up, that meant even more.

so anyway, to bring us back around to the original point (y'all still with me?), today after grabbing onto the diary-ring coattails of the aforementioned bombshell, i got a bunch of hits. and an entry in my questbook. from none other than PartyGirl. and in some way, it was like Sam had just called to say hey.

let me make my analogy explicit, cause even i'm getting confused.

CubeGirl=Lisa Loeb

PartyGirl=Sam Shaber

i know that d-land aint the world, and notoriety here is somewhat rarified, but i feel like in the view i have of d-land, CubeGirl and PartyGirl are akin to celebrities. i know i read them everyday (just like i listen to Sam nearly every day). i dunno, this is starting to sound really stupid and sycophantic, but what the hell.

it's all about validation right? so the point here is that someone who's work i enjoy, and with whom i relate (though i could never could never hope to keep up) has thrown a little nod my way.

and it made me happy.

and after all the crap in this extra-long entry, i think that's the real point. someone i had been admiring in (relative) anonymity poked her head in and said "hey" and that's just cool.

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