No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-08-18 - 12:10 a.m.

K's B-day

just got back from K's b-day celebration. she pretty much avoided me all night.

as expected i enjoyed it because of the presence of jo3, Ng, and ChefsKey.

at one point i was talking to ChefsKey, and K was to my right, talking to someone else about some guy. i kept over-hearing little phrases about making out and sex and all sorts of things i really, *really* didn't want to hear. and ChefsKey was being quiet and i wanted him to be shouting to drown it out, and i was trying not to let on what i was feeling.

Ng wants me to throw a dinner party, which i may to Labor Day weekend. she kept telling me i need to throw stuff away, because i was saying how much stuff i have. she can be somewhat overwhelming at times.

i'm tired, and i want to stop feeling depressed.

jo3 said tonight that i need some kind of life-changing event. i think he's right. i need something to take me in a new direction, some kind of signpost that i can point to and say "there. that's when it all changed for me".

anyone have any suggestions?

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