No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-09-05 - 10:42 a.m.

remebering dreams and bemoaning a lack of conversation

last night i slept a bit more, and don't remember waking. somehow i'm more tired than yesterday. i dreamt about an indoor soccer game between Britain and Iran. Iran was up 200 to 0. weird.

last night at Portable Banquet, jo3 wasn't there (i'm very happy he's found Ng, and i know he's busy at work, but i miss my bud) and someone asked who would offer a topic of conversation. i tried the Poet Laureate quote from yesterday. i sent that quote to someone in an email, and she really appreciated it. last night at dinner everyone just kind of sat there and said "huh". ChefsKey seemed to want to discuss it, and i would have liked to hear his thoughts. unfortunately, CD's brother and (soon-to-be) sister-in-law immediately shifted the conversation to the Simpsons and bad movies. now, i don't have too much room to complain, because i do have a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of the Simpsons (note to self: don't reveal too much knowledge of Simpsons at one time. people give you weird looks. like they think you have no life.) (note to self: get a life. right after Simpsons) and i have been known to watch many, many bad, bad movies. but i was hoping to have a *real* conversation instead of a round of bad quotes and giggling.

no such luck.

speaking of remembering dreams, when i was a kid, i wanted to be a marine biologist. anyone asked me what i wanted to be -- "marine biologist". this was at the age when most kids were saying things like fireman, or spiderman. i made this decision based on the fact that whales and sharks were collectively the coolest things in the world. and Jacques Cousteau (spelling?) was my hero. of course, dinosaurs where also pretty damned cool, but i'm not sure i knew the word paleontologist at that point.

how did i end up here? i keep asking myself that.

i don't have any answers yet.

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