No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2001-06-27 - 4:47 p.m.

music as religion, salvation, and solace

i have to apologize, gentle reader, for my last entry. i was upset, and i let SmogMonkey take the wheel. the j$ that you know and love was just a passenger in his own body, while that sadistic simian ran roughshod over the landscape. i promised myself when i started this journal that i wouldn't swear outright in it. i broke that one last night.

however, i also promised myself that i wouldn't edit myself. i kept that one.

another promise to myself that i kept last night (under great duress) was the one to not drink in June. though i have to say that i was sorely tempted to tell my problems to the Captain. he always listens so well.

today i am taking my solace and inspiration in music.

bob dylan

lyle lovett

shawn colvin

these are my prophets, and my muses.

jo3 is seeing ani difranco at red rocks tonight. i'm so jealous i could explode. i dealt with that feeling somewhat by buying a ticket for lyle lovett and shawn colvin. i'm gonna fricking swoon. i just know it.

the second year i saw lilith fair, at the end they did this big group song. it was like lisa loeb and sarah mclachlan and natalie merchant and all these other amazing women singers all of whom i idolize and i thought my head would explode. really, i was trying so hard to impress the experience in my memory that i would never forget it that i almost forgot to enjoy it.

wow. music. a-fricking-men.

i need to learn to sing. i want to go to Mead St and do the open mike by myself. i want to be like sam shaber. i want to write great songs and play them for people. i want to be an apostle of music, and do my part to spread its good news.

yeah, music as religion, salvation, and solace.

that's not just some of it.

that's all of it.

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