No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction at anytime.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.
-- Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille
Was || Will Be || Past Moments || Now || Notes

2003-01-10 - 4:44 p.m.

The long-awaited massive update update, with New Year's and haircuts, and pregnancies, and football

Okay, so I don't really know where I've been. I mean, I've been here, at home, quite a bit this week. Because, you know, fevers and phlegm, and deep, wracking coughs. But I haven't been around DLand much, because I just haven't felt like writing.

There's so much I feel like I should catch all of you up on, but that's assuming anyone wants to hear it, and some of it I've been putting off writing about, because I don't want to think about it.

This week I'm either in a state or convalescence, denial, or both.


So New Year's Eve, I spent at Cow Place. It was fun. We had a designated dork. CD of used-to-date-eRoommate, and we-went-to-see-Lyle-and-Shawn fame. It was great to see her again, though there might have been a slightly weird vibe on my part. Cause I used to dig her pretty seriously, but never did anything because of eRoommate. Anyway, ancient history. Never mind.

I spent most of the evening chatting with people. I did do some dancing. Quite a bit of dancing, really. Which was fun. I danced quite a lot with BoBoGirl. Which was both fun and terribly depressing. Cause you know, who doesn't love her? Not me, for one. At one point someone said to me "You're really tearing it up out there. Too bad it's with a lesbian." Yeah, always a bridesmaid, or something like that.

ShyGirl did not show up, as I had hoped/feared she might. I realize that I haven't even talked to her in weeks, and that after I promised to call. I have done a masterful job of getting her out of my head. Now I need to let her creep back in enough to keep our friendship alive.


So, the haircut. It's been a week, and I still look in the mirror and wonder "Who is that guy wearing my glasses?" It's just totally different. When I got it cut, I had the stylist braid my hair, and cut off the braid as all one piece (to donate to Locks of Love). The braid measures around nine inches long. I was gonna post a picture, but eRoommate's digital camera defeated me, so you'll have to wait till I get my film developed.

I actually like the way my hair looks now. It's short and dignified without being military or boring. It definitely makes me look younger. Much younger. eRoommate looked at me and said "You look twelve".

The thing that excites me about getting my hair cut ("Oh, Yes. Cut it, Baby. Cut it for Daddy.") is that maybe it'll mean I can get more acting parts. I re-shot my headshots on Monday, and I'm hoping that as soon as I get those in the hands of my agent, more rehearsals will be coming my way.

We'll see.


So it's now official, and I can talk about it. TwinSis is pregnant. Faithful readers might recall that she was pregnant once before some months back, and had a miscarriage. Now she's better than twelve weeks in and they've heard the baby's heartbeat, and we can all start to be officially excited.

So, I'm officially excited. Not just a little. A lot. A whole lot. I can't wait to be an uncle. I'm taking my inspiration from The Onion. Seriously, I'm going to do a lot of reading of stories, and bouncing on knees (though I might have to wait a while until they're strong enough to hold me on their knees) and spoiling outrageously and such.

In sadder news, BigSis was also pregnant, but has also had a miscarriage. For a while there, the sisters were about a week apart, which, since they're each others' primary support network, was kind of scary. But I just feel terrible for BigSis. She's been trying longer than TwinSis, and has always wanted this more.

But I still have no doubt that she'll have a kid eventually. She's too perfect a mom to not have kids.


In other random news, I've been watching a ton of movies recently. As mentioned before, Mulholland Drive was a nonsensical piece of crap (when the only thing that makes a movie worthwhile is frontal nudity and seeing Billy Ray Cyrus get the crap beat out of him, it's a bad movie). On the other hand, Chocolat is one of the best movies I've ever seen. Holy crap that's a good movie. I mean, I know I'm a sentimental guy and all, but that damn movie made me cry like three times. Hmmmm...I need a girlfriend.


Oh, by the by. What can you say about the playoffs but Hell Damn Yeah? After the terrible outing by Brett and the boys on Saturday (the coaching staff has a *lot* to be sorry about), I almost didn't watch any on Sunday. I'm glad I did. Last Sunday was the best day of football I've seen since the Broncs brought home two SuperBowls. I can't wait for tomorrow. And while normally, I couldn't care less about how the Jets do, since they're currently my best hope for seeing the Raiders crushed and humiliated in the way that they should be, I'm currently a Jets fan.

Go Jets!


Okay, now I feel like this is enough of an entry to at least partially atone for my recent absence. I'll be back sooner this time, I promise.

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