2001-10-09 - 11:52 a.m.

more and yet more and yet more blood spills and I feel sick at heart

Remember what I was saying yesterday? About what's being done in my name? In you name? In all of our names?

Last night four U.N. workers, who were in Afghanistan trying to remove mines (by the way, according to NPR, nearly a quarter of all the world's mines are in Afghanistan. Literally millions and millions. Of little chunks of metal. Waiting patiently to blow off limbs. The very idea makes me sick) but last night, four U.N. workers were killed.

By American bombs.

That means by you and me, kids.

That's more innocent blood spilled, children.

And how dare I sit here at my desk and try to work? And how dare I sit and listen to Ani and try to pretend that life goes on as normal?

When for four people, and for tens or hundreds or thousands of others over there, and for five thousand or more here in our beloved U.S. of A.

Life.

Doesn't go on.

Anymore.

And again, I have to say I love this country. More than I can say. And I agree, that something must be done.

But it is my viewpoint that every sane and well-reasoned person must feel sick, sick, sick at the very thought of war. Even a war they support. It needs to sit heavy and sour in the stomach. It must burden you like a millstone around the neck. It has to make you uncomfortable and sad and sorry and just...just sick at heart.

Because even when I support this war effort, I hate it. I hate it from the depths of my soul.

And there's more innocent blood soaking into the ground, my friends.

And some of it is on *my* hands. I have to make myself realize that, and willingly shoulder that burden. Because to do otherwise would be to cheapen all of our lives.

And I don't think I'm making my point well enough here, I don't think you're going to understand what I mean.

But that's okay.

And I'll just let some other peoples' words speak for me for a moment, and see if that will do a better job.

From the Koran (horrendously misquoted) : "The death of one innocent person is as bad as the death of all humans everywhere."

From I think Jon Donne : "Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee."

And now I need to get back to work.